A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle
Are you using Windows or is that just an XT ?
Bang on the LEFT side of your computer to restart Windows
Beat me, whip me, make me use Windows !
Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore ...
Bugs come in through open Windows
Coming soon: EDLIN for Windows
DOS 6.0 and Windows 3.1 - A turtle and its shell
DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.1
Data to Picard: "No, Captain, I do NOT run WINDOWS !"
Despite my car having windows, it still isn't mouse driven !
Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail
Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance
Error 005: Windows loading - come back tomorrow
Exhibitionists love Windows
Father, forgive me, I've been caught using Windows ...
Have you crashed your Windows today ?
I can't wait for EDLIN to be ported for Windows
I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
I'll never forget the 1st time I ran Windows, but I'm trying ...
If I wanted Windows, I'd live in a greenhouse !
If Windows is user-friendly, why do you need a 678-page manual ?
If Windows sucked it would be good for something
Masochist: Windows programmer with a smile !
My latest screen saver: Curtains for Windows
New Windows 4.0: programmed in Turbo Logo++
New from McAfee: WinScan - Removes all Windows programs
OS/2 ... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates
Out of disk space - Delete Windows ? [Y]es [H]ell yes!
Relax ... you are entering a windows free zone
Some windows were made to be broken
Windows - so intuitive you only need a meg of help files !
Windows 3.1 - The best $89 solitaire game you can buy
Windows 3.1 vs OS/2 = Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson
Windows95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loading
Windows Multitasking: screwing up several things at once
Windows NT: Nice Try
Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty
Windows - A solitaire game that requires 16 MB and HD
Windows has the ability to screw up 2 things at the same time !
Windows ? We don't need no stinking Windows !
*******************************************************************************
And more...
Undocumented error-codes in Windows 95
Recently the following undocumented error-codes were found. Micro$oft
forgot to explain them in the manuals, so they will be spread via the internet:
WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
WinErr: 004 Erronious error - Nothing is wrong
WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadeqaute money spent on hardware
WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened
WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
WinErr: 00B Inadeqaute disk space - Free at least 50MB
WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Rame needed. More! More! More!
WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside
WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside
WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
WinErr: 011 Window open - Do not look outside
WinErr: 012 Window closed - Do not look inside
WinErr: 013 Unexpected error - Huh ?
WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.
WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old windows licence is not valid anymore.
WinErr: 019 User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry.
WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.
WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadeqaute.
WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.
WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.
WinErr: 01F Reserved for future mistakes of our developers.
WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Remaining errors will be lost.
WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will
automaticly be closed and the virus will be activated again.
WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.
WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many erros encountered. Next errors will not be displayed or recorded.
WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.
WinErr: 815 Insufficient Memory - Only 50.312.583 Bytes available.
Windows95 Annoyances, Copyright (C) 1995 - 1997 Creative Element.
А вот тут вот смотрел мультик "Остров Сокровищ" КиевНауч-
Фильма (очень рекомендую) и эдакую песенку там спели два
пирата применительно к Биллу Гейтсу.
В правой колонке - голос Джигарханяна (ДЖ.), а в левой -
тонкий (ТН.) голосок, не знаю чей...
ДЖ.: Дамы и господа! Сейчас Вы услышите трагическую и
поучительную историю о мальчике Билли, который очень любил
деньги.
ТН. ДЖ.
-Рассказывай!
С рождения Билли пай-мальчиком был. -Молодец!
Имел Билли хобби - он деньги любил. -Хороший мальчик!
Любил и копил.
- Что было дальше?
Все дети как дети, живут без забот,
А Билл на диете - не ест и не пьет - -Бедненький мальчик!
В копилку кладет.
Пр:
Деньги, деньги, дребеденьги,
Позабыв покой и лень
Делай деньги, делай деньги,
А остальное все - дребедень.
А остальное все - дребебедень.
-Дальше что было?
Здесь пенни, там шиллинг, а где-нибудь - фунт.
-Большие деньги!
Стал Билли мошенник, мошенник и плут.
-Почему мошенник и плут?
Скопил целый пуд. -Ага, молодец.
Но в том-то и дело, что он не один, -Почему?
Кто больше всех деньги на свете любил. -Наш человек, наш.
Вот это забыл.
Пр:
Деньги, деньги, дребеденьги,
Позабыв покой и лень
Делай деньги, делай деньги,
А остальное все - дребедень.
А остальное все - дребебедень.
Кнопка "Ok"
AP> Тут мои Юзеры требуют от меня полной русификации всех прог,
AP> а я никак не могу перевести слово на пипке "Ok", последний
AP> раз писал "Далее", но знакомые программеры сказали что дескать
AP> должна быть и кнопка "Ранее" и т.п. и т.д. :-) ...
Варианты:
1. Митьковский "Дык!"
2. Одесский "Ну?"
3. Армейский "Есть!"
4. Пионерский "Готов!"
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